The countdown has begun ...

Today, we are 39 days away from boarding a United flight to D.C. where we then will connect with a flight straight to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia.  The team seems to be meshing and growing well together.  I think we are all excited/eager/nervous/nauseous that we are just over a month away from leaving … for different reasons, financial support, spiritual angst, fearful anticipation, unwant of discomfort, etc.  Whatever the reason, regardless of each one's specific circumstances, there is still a very constant theme of hope and excitement in our meetings , which continues to spur us on to the next meeting, and then again to the next … and this is not of ourselves, but a gift from the Father!

Paul, our team leader, asked me this week to write an entry for the team blog.  I haven't written many blogs in my time, and not exactly sure what to communicate, so I will just write about what the Lord is doing in my own heart as it relates to the trip.

This trip is actually something I feel the Lord has been pointing me towards for quite some time.  I remember several years ago, when I first started going to the Village Church, we had our partner from China come and tell us of the work we were doing there.  At the end, he said, "So I'm sure that many of you are asking yourself 'what now?'  'Should I go?' And I can answer that question for you right now.  As I have been talking about this, all the work we are doing, the hope of Christ in the nation of China, and telling you about how He has moved … have you been moved?  Have you had something inside of you stir and ache to see these things?  If you have … the answer is … go …"  Cut to Josh, sitting in the rows, looking like a deer caught in the headlights, because this guys has just straight up called me out from the stage.  So begins my search to quench this seeming thirst I now had acquired.

I just recently graduated from PA school and as soon as I finished I was looking at short-term missions.  There wasn't one specific trip that stood out to me, but there were so many options.  I was actually quite hesitant about going on a Medical trip … a lot of it had to do with feeling inadequate about my medical knowledge … I mean, I was just a punk kid, recently graduated from PA school … what could I offer?  What could I bring?  But as I prayed and talked about it with my friends, the choice became clearer … Ethiopia I …

It's funny how the Lord works sometimes.  In the past year I have felt bombarded by Jesus and His Spirit.  At first, I thought it was about a billion things in my life that were unsatisfying to Him.  I saw no clarity in the direction of my spiritual walk … in fact, I felt torn in so many different directions.  I felt like I had to get this in shape over here, and then go over there and tidy up, and then run over there and keep something from falling apart … I seriously felt like the guy who spins all the plates at once … always focused on the individual problems at hand with no end in sight.  Little did I know that as I was juggling all of my actions and circumstances … He was about to blow them all up, and let the plates come crashing down.  See, I have this thing inside of me that thinks that I have to perform for God … that I have to clean myself up for God to accept me … and that if I don't, He will become disinterested in me … not really angry with me … just doesn't want anything to do with me and having no affections for me. 

Through a few "random" divine encounters … my paradigm began to shift.  Romans 8:5 says, "For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set the minds on the things of the Spirit."  It has been through this verse, and the surrounding chapter and dear, dear friends that the Lord has shaken the belief system I once had.  See … I have been a believer for most of my life.  Specifically, in the past 4 years, I had my life radically changed by the love of Jesus Christ, but I began to fall into a life of 'should' rather than the life that His word tells me that I have.  I was shocked by grace in the face of the revelation of my total depravity 4 years ago… and in the subsequent years, I began to see my shortcomings and still tried to perform to gain and keep God's acceptance.  I should be doing this … I shouldn't be doing this … Why am I still doing this? … Why am I not doing that … These thoughts filled my mind … and as I set my mind on these things, these things of the FLESH, I began to live according to them … meaning that THEY, these things, became my focus … not Jesus Christ.  Did you know that as believers of Jesus Christ that we are considered holy … blameless … children of God?  We … are … His … beloved!  Set your mind on these things … meditating on the TRUTH that you are holy, blameless, righteous, and a child of the Living God … and you will live with this truth, that Jesus has given you these qualities by His death, as your focus, rather than how you stack up to a religious moral code. 

So … a year ago I felt like Christ was taking sucker punches at me from every direction … but … because of the great love with which He has loved me … I can see now that all of that has been pointing to something greater the entire time.  I now see clarity where I once did not see before.  Right now, that clarity is pointing to Africa.  I can't say that I know why.  I can say though that He is stirring up a holy expectancy that if I seek Him, I will find Him … not just in Africa … but in the process of getting there, the trip itself, and everyday after.  I am His beloved, and He is my God.  He longs for me to see His face … and I long to see Him.

Be blessed today … and rest in His love for you today!

jp